Crafting a Successful Statement of Purpose

A statement of purpose is one of the most significant parts of your application that will tell the admission committee who you are, your professional goals, and what you think will be your contribution to the field of study you are applying for.

So why are we here?

A statement of purpose is one of the most significant parts of your application that will tell the admission committee who you are, your professional goals, and what you think will be your contribution to the field of study you are applying for. In this presentation, we’re going to cover the basics and a few common errors.

“A strong statement of purpose can be the deciding factor in a graduate student’s admission.” — Jared Pierce, Associate Director of Enrollment Services, Northeastern University

We’re also here to follow the journey of one special applicant, Blue Tiger, or “BT” for short.

What are you trying to do with a Statement of Purpose (SOP)?

  • Show your desire and ability to be successful in the program.
  • Demonstrate your professional demeanor.
  • Document how well you can articulate your educational and career goals.
  • Illustrate your maturity.
  • Highlight why you want to study with faculty at the university.
  • Work as a writing sample.

The SOP for the Dual-Degree Should Include at Least:

  1. A brief biographical introduction (one paragraph of 3-5 sentences).
  2. A discussion of your undergraduate career (three paragraphs).

The SOP for Grad School Should Include:

  1. A brief biographical introduction (one paragraph of 3-5 sentences).
  2. A discussion of your undergraduate career (three paragraphs).
  3. A discussion of your graduate school interests:
    • What you want to do.
    • Why you chose this specific school.
    • Which faculty member(s) you want to study under and why. (one or two paragraphs).

The Structure of the SOP

For graduate school, the admissions review committee will determine your ability to enhance the program’s intellectual value. Schools expect to benefit from your intellectual contributions. If you have none to offer beyond engineering, you will not be accepted to the better schools. You can demonstrate this through both the content and the style of your documents.

Brainstorm the Right Way

  1. Collect all the information that you might need for this SOP.
  2. What program are you applying for, and why do you love this program so much?
  3. What first got you interested in this program?
  4. What classes did you love, and how did they contribute to your understanding of this field?
  5. What work have you done to learn more about this field?
  6. What would you like to do in this field in the future?
  7. How does this university help you fulfill this dream?

A Little About Blue Tiger (BT):

  • He wants to go to UCLA and start a master’s degree in electrical engineering.
  • He is currently majoring in ECE.
  • He has done a little bit of research.
  • He really enjoys reading science fiction.
  • He has always enjoyed all of the elective courses.
  • He studied abroad.
  • He won a minor robotics competition.
  • He did an internship at a local computer company.

Make a Quick Outline of Your Material

  • Remember that your SOP needs to be about something.
  • Think of a clever way to start this thing out.
  • Consider what makes you a different applicant than others.
  • Consider how this information makes you sound as an applicant.

Things to Avoid

  • Listing your interests that are not related to academics.
  • Talking badly about SJTU.
  • Sharing your personal life history.
  • Writing vague statements.
  • Telling the reader you are passionate (show this instead).
  • Mentioning the weather.

Make a Draft of Your Statement of Purpose (SOP)

  • Your SOP should be about two pages long.
  • List where you’re applying, what program you’re applying to, and what level you are applying to in your first paragraph.

Write a Substantial Introduction

  1. The first sentence is the most important part of the paragraph because it gets the reader’s attention.
  2. Create a strong opening paragraph of at most five sentences.
  3. Explain briefly:
    • Who you are.
    • Where you’re from.
    • Why you have chosen the particular subject you’re applying for.
    • Why the institution is among your top choices.
  4. Grab your reader’s attention with the first sentence:
    • Start with a story, anecdote, or carefully selected quote.
    • Tie it to the “theme” of the essay.
  5. Be succinct and deliberate with your word choice.

Give a Summary of Your Undergraduate Career

  • This is normally the first few body paragraphs.
  • Showcase your past achievements.
  • This can be more than one paragraph, but keep each paragraph focused.
  • Move past the summary and give context:
    • What did you learn from it?
    • How did that shape you?
    • How does this tie into your bigger themes?

Explain Your Reasoning for Applying

  1. Why are you going to graduate school?
  2. What are you hoping to get out of this experience?
  3. Why do you need this knowledge?
  4. Do you really understand how difficult graduate school is?
  5. Are your interests specific enough to warrant research?
  6. How much do you want this?
  7. What steered you to your university of choice?

Describe Your Professional Goals

  • What inclined you to choose that field?
  • What do you enjoy about researching and learning in this field?
  • What do you plan to do with this new knowledge?
  • What kind of research would you like to be doing?
  • Make it all fit together in the timeline of you.

Write Your Conclusion

  • Sum up any important information.
  • Thank them for their time.
  • Tell them how you could contribute.
  • Mention any specifics about the department.
  • Circle back to that sharp intro and return to that idea.
  • Extend the themes you have started to discuss in this essay.

Edit Your Essay. Edit It Again. Edit It One More Time.

Consider these key points:

  1. Selectivity of Content: Must explain your interest in your field of study and your motivation to succeed.
  2. Originality: Does it tell your story and grab the reader’s attention?
  3. Clarity: Is it concise, organized, and error-free?
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Common Problems in SOPs

  1. It’s not about anything specific.
  2. Topic sentences are not strong enough.
  3. It lists achievements instead of telling a story.
  4. It repeats information already available in the application.
  5. It tells the reader you’re passionate rather than showing it.
  6. Each paragraph doesn’t have a clear focus.
  7. It lacks details about the school.
  8. It needs revision and better structure.

Personal Statements: How Are They Different?

  • A personal statement is more of a story than an SOP.
  • It is far more personal.
  • It lets the reader (scholarship/admissions committee) know who you are, your goals, and the challenges you have overcome in life.
  • It allows the admissions committee to consider who you are as a person.

General Guidelines for Personal Statements

  1. Personal statements are generally 250–500 words or one page long.
  2. If more than one page is allowed, use the opportunity to write more about yourself.
  3. Convey to the reader why you stand out from other candidates and why you should be selected.
  4. These are more passion-based essays and work as a replacement for the interview.

Use the Following Tips While Preparing:

  • Personal statements should still have an organizing theme or idea.
  • The opening should let the reader know what you are writing about.
  • Hook the reader with a distinctive opening.
  • Distinguish yourself:
    • Highlight things that are unique or different about you.
    • Explain what you accomplished and learned from your activities.
  • Be concise; don’t write more than you need.
  • Write honestly and from the heart.
  • Focus on things important to you.
  • Be proud, honest, positive, and concise.

What Should Be Included?

  1. Personal and Family Background:
    • Are you the first in your family to graduate from university?
    • What are your life goals, and how will obtaining a degree further them?
    • How do you plan to balance personal and academic responsibilities?
  2. Educational and Career Goals:
    • What led you to choose a specific school or field of study?
    • If undecided, discuss other interests or possibilities.
  3. Personal Interests, Extracurricular Activities, Employment, Volunteer, and Community Service:
    • Explain the significance of these activities and how they shaped who you are.
    • Focus on the lessons learned.
  4. Reason for Applying:
    • Why this school?
    • Why this field?
  5. Challenges You Have Overcome in Pursuing Your Education:
    • Highlight the lessons learned and how you overcame obstacles.

Writing the “So What”

  • Describe the lesson learned from your experiences.
  • Shift from storytelling to persuading the reader why your story matters.
  • Share why your story represents your unique interests and potential contributions.

Write an Effective Conclusion

  1. End on a powerful and memorable note.
  2. Make yourself stand out from the crowd.
  3. Expand on broader implications of your essay topic.
  4. Consider linking the conclusion to your introduction.
  5. Show how the experience has changed you as a person.

The JI Writing Center: Support for PS/SOP Writing

Who Will You Work With?

  • Academic Writing Faculty
  • Technical Communication Faculty

Steps to Get Feedback:

  1. Prepare your prompt, drafts, and questions.
  2. Send your most complete draft.
  3. Think about your priorities and deadlines.
  4. Email all documents to: jingyi.xiong@sjtu.edu.cn

What to Submit:

  1. Name of Graduate School and any guidelines for the PS/SOP.
  2. The questions or concerns you have about your statement.
  3. Personal Statement or Statement of Purpose Draft (specify which).

Email Format:

  • Subject Line: Your Name & ID Number – Personal Statement or SOP Example: Tori Zhang 1234566 – Personal Statement
  • File Names: Include your name and document type (e.g., Tori Zhang Personal Statement.pdf).
  • Submit one attachment in both .doc and .pdf formats.

What Are the Steps?

  1. Wait to be assigned a faculty consultant.
  2. Receive email confirmation within 72 hours.
  3. Conduct the appointment or receive feedback within 7 days.
  4. Revise and schedule additional meetings if needed (up to 90 minutes total).
  5. Appointments can be in-person or online.

What Topics Can You Discuss?

  • Understanding the prompt requirements.
  • Brainstorming and developing ideas.
  • Organizing essays.
  • Revising written drafts.
  • Editing for coherence, style, and grammar.

Contact Information:

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